Yesterday, I graduated college.Today, I am flying to South Africa for 3 weeks. June 12th, I start my new job in Madison, Wisconsin. Life update barf.

The last few weeks have been a complete whirlwind.

I feel like all semester I've been trying to prepare myself for this post-grad/adult life. If you know me well, you know when it comes to the important things in life, I am a planner. I'm also the overachiever you hated in high school. You know, the one who would get a 99/100 on a test, but still need to argue the 1 point that was missed... Basically, my parents raised me to always do my best, and they paired that motto with affirmation and encouragement, which resulted in this kid shooting for the stars!

Even when it has been difficult, I have always loved challenges. There is just something so great about facing something difficult and then overcoming it. So this big scary concept of "the future" has been one of those things I've been motivated to conquer for a long time.

All throughout high school and college I worked my batooskie off to do well in school. I've always been a straight A student and I've always excelled in my extra circulars. But this semester, the question creeping into my mind was, "What if it doesn't matter?". What if I worked for 8 years to build this reputation for myself, and in the end, nobody cares? As much as I tried to block it out, as much as I tried to stay positive, that annoying question continued to knock at my door.

So naturally, I gradually quit relying on God's help (because I'm awesome and apparently need to learn about trusting Him every other second of my life), and I decided I would take matters into my own hands. Guess how that turned out? BRMP.

I started applying for every job under the sun and hoping that something would stick. But nothing I wanted presented an opportunity, and the opportunities that did come were undesirable in the end. After about a month of doing this, it occurred to me that I had gradually been pulling away from the Lord's guidance. Of course I didn't do it on purpose, but my focus had become about ME and MY abilities, rather than HIS calling on my life. The result was a very anxious and stressed out Samantha. My fuse had become a mere centimeter. *Pause for dramatic effect*. But I mean, what else should I have expected, trying to succeed on my own?

You know, it doesn't sound hard to trust God. In the Bible, we read about the wonders He has performed and the overwhelming evidence of His faithfulness time and time again. So in Theory, yeah, the God that parted the sea can probably handle getting me an entry level job. But when it is actually time for us to trust, it's a different story. It seems like it would be easier for us to just take care of the issue and give God a break, when in reality, we are creating an entirely more difficult situation. Specifically for me, it's always a struggle when there is a deadline to be met.

Like, hey God? I trust you, but I need you to come through by May 11th, thanks buddy.

I went through a similar situation when I was doing the Kickstarter for my album. What's funny is that, of course, God was totally faithful. And that was literally not even a year ago, yet here I am like "Where you at, God?". I'm rolling my eyes at myself.

But there is a good ending to this story. Like I said, I finally realized that I needed to be making this search for a job about HIS calling on my life. So I began to really seek Him in the final month of my college career. And I began to feel a peace about my future. If I had it my way, of course, the timing would have been different, but in my waiting, the Lord directed me to a few passages:

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

Habakkuk 2:3

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

And basically just all of Ecclesiastes 3, which reiterates over and over that there is a time for everything.

So I had a few looks at job opportunities in the past month, but the one I landed on came about in the last few weeks. As I was scrolling through some opportunities on Indeed, I saw an advertisement for a company called "Musicnotes". I suddenly sat up straighter and blinked to make sure that my eyes weren't deceiving me. If you are a music major, you certainly know what Musicnotes is. It's a website that offers sheet music for instruments and voice, with a HUGE variety of songs.To me, it's easily one of the best sites out there for this purpose. I have purchased a lot of music off of the site for my voice lessons and various performances at DBU. It's an incredible company that has done nothing but grow over the past 20 years, and so seeing the advertisement made my heart take a little leap.

For those of you that don't know, my major is Music Business with an emphasis in Songwriting. So a big pat of my degree has resulted in me notating music, which is the core task at Musicnotes. So, long story short, after a few interviews, I have accepted a position at the company. And I literally signed the papers on the day of my graduation (yesterday). Talk about timing!

The crazy part of the job is that it's located in Madison, Wisconsin, which is about 15 hours from where I currently live. *wipes sweat*. And before you ask, yes, I'm obviously sad to leave. My whole family is here, and it's going to be really weird to not be able to drive over to the house when I'm too lazy to make dinner. My niece is 2 years old and it's going to be tough to not give her kisses at LEAST once a week. My sister is my best friend, my parents are my biggest supporters, and I won't be hitting the town on Friday nights with muh guuurlz anymore. So yeah, it's going to be tough.

But I know that the Lord is providing a clear direction for me, and so though it might be hard, I am confident that He is going to provide me with a joy unlike any other. AGAIN, He has proved faithful, even though I doubted Him along the way. And as I've spent the last week reflecting on the last 4 years of my life, I know I'm ready. I tried to prepare myself for the future, but it was God that really did it.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout my college career, and I can't wait to share more about my journey with you! There are a few other things in the works that I can't quite share yet (boo). Also, I am still writing music and looking to be able to share more of that soon as well!

Until next time, peace and blessings, friends!